Since being in Sevilla, I have listened to the “Café con Leche” playlist on Spotify many times; it seems quite fitting considering the amount of café con leche I have drank here. It is on this playlist that I encountered a song called “Extranjera”, and when I first found the song it felt very relatable. The lyrics of this song describe a woman who feels out of place in the big city that she is living in and who is trying to find where she fits in, but concludes that “she is only a foreigner” and that is who she is.
Though the move to Spain went much smoother than I could have ever imagined or hoped for (shout out to Teresa, Rosario, and Maria, all amazing women who have welcomed me into their home), there were many days in which I felt I was only a foreigner here in this city. I knew what people were saying to me most of the time, but I could not express myself in the ways in which I wanted to, I could not open the elevator door (there are 2 doors that each open in a different way before one can enter/exit), and I relied on Google maps to get to different places around the city. I felt disoriented, out of place, and I wanted nothing more than to find a way that I could fit in here in this new place.
The past few weeks have consisted of some traveling, with a school trip to Toledo, a trip with friends to Madrid, and another trip with friends to Rome. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to see other cities and other countries, but by the end of each of those trips I have found myself desiring to be home. In those moments that I think “wow, I am excited to sleep in my bed and see my family and have a meal at the kitchen table and see my dog”, I am thinking of my home here in Sevilla. So, although I have felt like the foreigner longing for a place to belong, Sevilla has started to become that place for me. It has begun to feel like home.